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Finding your Personal Code : A Roadmap to Authentic Living*

Where are you putting your energy in your life? Where are you actually spending time doing/buying/in relationships that aren't the best for you? Do you feel confused about where to go in life? Do you say yes to something that actually drains you? Do you buy things to avoid feeling deeply? Do you eat unconsciously to mask pain? Perhaps you have a big dream but fear or not knowing where to begin seem to hold you back? We’ve unfortunately all found ourselves there - living inauthentically, prioritizing things we believe we should do/be/buy rather than what our soul craves.

Finding what your Personal Code is becomes a powerful navigation tool to help you align with what your soul longs for in this life.

Your Personal Code consists of the 4 things you value the most, that feel like the closest representation of your truest authentic self at present (your Code may change over time). In this exercise, you will discover what your own unique personal code is and then, it will become a beacon that in every choice you need to make you can check in and ask: Does this align with my Personal Code?

Let's Dive In. Remember you can't get this wrong. You can establish your Code now and always change it later. Don't let perfectionism hold you back from getting the energy flowing to live your most authentic and joyful life NOW!

Write 3+ answers to each question below. DO NOT think about acceptable answers or what you SHOULD answer. Forget about what society says. Answer truly and authentically:

  1. How do you fill your personal or professional space?

  2. How do you spend your time?

  3. How do you spend your energy?

  4. What do I look forward to doing the most?

  5. What do I spend most of my money on?

  6. What am I the most organized and proactive about?

  7. Where are you most reliable?

  8. What dominates your thoughts?

  9. What do you visualize most?

  10. What do you most often talk to yourself about?

  11. What do you most often talk to others about?

  12. What inspires you?

  13. What goals stand out in your life and have stood the test of time?

  14. What topics do you love to study, read about, or research?

  15. What would you spend your time doing if you had all the free time and resources in the world?

  16. Think of some people that you feel jealous or envious of. What do you envy in them?

Step 2. Identify the answers that repeat most often. Go through and see which answers repeat, circle those, and count them up. This is super fun and you may or may not be surprised by what you find out.

Step 3. Summarize and Prioritize Your Values. Just create a list of the answers that repeat most often by listing the top 4. See if you can find a theme. For example, hiking, traveling, going to the beach and using my Virtual Reality might be distilled down into 1 code: ADVENTURE. Boil it down to four main themes: These are your PERSONAL CODE!

To clarify your code, you may find some inspiration on the list below find a few that resonate with your list. These should be concepts that define your soul desires. Not the desires that society places on you, but what you truly innately need in life to feel fulfilled:


An example of a personal code is:





Write this code out in your journal. Tack it to your wall. When in doubt, let aligning with these values be your guiding light! ASK YOURSELF WHENEVER YOU'RE FEELING UNSURE IF SOMETHING IS RIGHT FOR YOU, DOES THIS ALIGN WITH MY PERSONAL CODE?


i. Pay attention to how you are spending money. Are you spending cash on things that aren’t aligned with you? What are you collecting that doesn’t bring you joy?

ii. Learn the power of no. This can be one of the most powerful words in our vocabulary. Create boundaries, say no to things you know don’t align with what you value.

iii. Seek out activities that bring you joy. I encourage you to do one thing that brings you joy each day. May this be sipping on a super frothy macha latte because you value luxury or taking a long bath and meditating because spirituality or self-care are part of your code. Find what brings joy for YOU.

iv. Delegate or let go of one thing from your day that doesn’t align. Maybe that’s the pastries you you eat on the go because you it’s cheap, quick, and satisfying but really it makes you crash and you wish you had something more aligned for your body and health needs.

v. Take note of how living your authentic code makes you feel. Pay attention to the joy that comes up when you participate in an activity that aligns with your authentic values. Compare that to other activities you fill your day with. Listening to your intuition can help you to decipher where you may be uncertain.

*(exercise adapted from the Values Factor)

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