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Writer's pictureKayla Oceanna

From Shameful Secret to Mindful Mastery : Her Story


I used to teach a Women's Meditation Circle in Taipei.  That's where I met Jessica, an amazingly intuitive, empathic and spiritually inclined woman (even if she didn't fully realize it at the time).  She would come weekly to relax in meditation, be vulnerable in a sharing circle and get to know her authentic self more and more.

One day, Jessica asked to speak to me privately before class.... Jessica shared with me a secret that she had been holding onto, scared to share even in our circle, genuinely feeling she was "bad" for this thing.

Jessica's secret to many of us wouldn't even be a big deal, but that's how it works when we've learned to hide our authentic selves. 

It's not about the secret itself. 

It's about the repressed shame and guilt that start to rule our lives, taking form as dis-ease, inauthentic living, stress, anxiety, depression and not celebrating and sharing our unique gifts!


How do these shameful parts start to take over our lives? How can even small things seem like such big deals?

This can be because our collective conscious has been imprinted for many, many lifetimes to think some things are just so inherently bad that you could die if they're found out. For example, being a healer and the witch trials. 

These fearful memories are passed down in our DNA, which is now proven by epigenetics and thus, we may have irrational fears because of these old patterns playing out in the subconscious. 

Or, perhaps, we were chided and ridiculed by our parents for being lazy or for wanting to explore our sexuality and so to still be loved and taken care of by our caretakers, we learned to disown these parts of ourselves that are sexually free and explorative or that are inclined toward rest, relaxation and not so concerned with being "successful".

Can you relate?

Debt

Cheating

Binging on food, alcohol, porn

Not always loving our kids

Sex (too little, too much, etc)

Body Issues

Feeling not good enough

Judging others

What might be yours?

We all have our challenges, those places we harbor conscious or unconscious shame from repressed aspects of our collective or from our own experiences as a child. 

So, Jessica came to me with on of her Shameful Secrets and asked for help.  

And I am so glad she did! Asking to be supported is one of the most empowering action steps we can take as women!

"Jessica," I eventually asked her, "Do you want to be my first client for the Six Moon Deep Dive Radical Transformation Program that just visioned through me? 

Are you ready to:

  • Clear unconscious patterns of destructive behavior and thought

  • Live free of shame and guilt

  • Deepen into what a powerful spiritual connection means to you

  • Step into your power and innate gifts empower yourself to be a better mother, wife, friend, healer and human

  • Open to a life of surrender, ease, magic, & joy, which ripples out into the world?!?"

She was a full, YES!

It's been truly a gift to go deep into this work with her and the other inspiring women who have felt called to this work/play with me.

And... drumroll....

Jessica has since awakened to her own gifts as a healer and through her own Mindful Mastery is now a grad student at Columbia University in the  Psychology Department, focusing on the Spirituality Mind and Body Program!

This woman is truly so inspiring to me, for committing herself to growing her self-worth and healing through her innate spirituality so that she can better the world.   Thank you, Jessica, for shining your light brighter and brighter and for allowing me to share your story. I love you.


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